new endings and expected beginnings

The idea of creating a new blog occured to me a couple of days ago. I just wanted to record the time and reflect on my personal life, and what is going around. Actually, my mother tongue is Turkish, but my instict made me write this entry in English, which doesn't mean it will necessarily go on that way; so here we go...


I am a 24 year old gal who has been teaching and living alone for two years, very faaar away from her homeland city. My second year at this city will be completed next week. Today was also end of something else. One of my best friends in the city, Serap left the city this morning. She has just got married and moved to the city of her very fresh husband. Last night, me and my best boyfriend in the city, Hakan were walking around the city talking about things we went through for the last 2 years. By the way, let me tell you a really interesting thing about Hakan.

 He has a relationship of 7 years, his fiancé is getting her university education in a very far city to us. Hakan was telling that he has been in love with someone else for the last 2 years, but he didn't tell us who it was. Aaaand surprisingly it turned out that it was a guy! A very close guy friend, indeed! That must make him pansexual or something, I guess! He opened his feelings to the guy, which was returned in a very heartbreaking and rude way. In the meantime, Hakan continues his relationship with her girl fiancé. I got uncomfortable by the situation, questioned his personality, and our friendship, but I am still close to him. He has been a good friend anyway. Anyway...


Returning to the yesterday... While I said that I was gloomy about these ends and leavings, walking in the lovely weather with the company of a beloved one, Hakan, he told that he was content, because we lived those 2 years fully. We lived and learned much. While he missed those past days, he wouldn't want to live up them to today. Because he "lost" that feeling and confidence. Today I am contemplating over that subject. I want to end the last week at the city in peace and preperation. (I have been sooo laaazy :( I think now I will pray for freedom, justise and peace of my county (there is a riot in Turkey -which I am supporting to the end- against repressive AKP government.)and of my personal life. And love for all of us... God bless us all!