29 Temmuz 2013 Pazartesi

Returning back to Ankara – reflections on the past 1 month and plans for the future

It was crazy busy in the weekdays, and at the weekends I just went out and rested at home. So,…

The Celta’s 2nd and especially 3rd week were hell! I never ever felt that unsuccessful and inadequate before in my life even though I knew deep inside that I wasn’t. I even cried at the end of the third week to the girls that I just met at the beginning of the course. It’s sooo not  me. That intense pressure was something new in my life. Lession practises and written assignments overlapped. I tried to minimize my inaccruacy in my English and thought of what to write and how to write for long moments, tried to plan my lesson to the Standard and to the details. Had 4 and sometimes 3 hours of sleep at nights. Made sure that everything was ready for the lesson. And then saw that I always forgot or didn’t have time to do something each time: Giving the papers to the tutor, checking the listening cd before the lesson – it was lost, so I read aloud the transcript to students instead of the CD – writing the sourced materials, etc.

However, the last weekend was nearly great like my first week. Its partly because we didnt have much written assignments anymore, I could sleep more and think and act more properly, asked ideas to the tutors which grounded a basis for my lessons, I finally knew and understood what to do, and at last but not the least, I was determined and passionate about ending it in a really good way to build my lost self confidence again… And thanks to that, I had an above Standard J Stil not A, it’s a B. But A is said to be tooo uncommon and you should be a native or native speaker like. I don’t know…

Anyways, other than the work I had really nice and great friends. Met lots of interesting and kind people from Middle Eastern, Saudi, neighbouhoods, Americans and some British tutors… We all studied at the weekdays, and went out to discover the city mostly with one of my Persian friend, and American friend. One of the Syrian girls who lives in Saudi Arabia was reaaaly insulting and offending I stopped to talk to her. My Egyptian roommate was soo annoying, noisy, excessive consumer of everything that I was just about to produce pre-judgments on Arabs (given that I’m Turkish it’s not that difficult), than I met really nice and friendly Arab men from Iraq, Syria, Yemen… I stopped doing that. We were all from different places, nationalities, and lives, but we still were really connected to each other. And many felt the same way with me.
                                                                                                       
Aaand what about the near and distant future? First thing I go home, I will measure my weight! I hardly cooked at home. Bakeries in the morning, biscuits in the intervals, big meals at the noon… Well didn’t eat much after that… And couldnt work out ever – it was impossible at that home with no carpets on the ground.

And will apply for a university teaching job in Ankara. Won’t tell anybody not to make anyone get any expectations… And I am going to study pronunciation, read my English books, (I will them about later… ) watch American and British series and shows to acquire some natural language. I’ve learned too much about organizing, so I will use them! That’s all now. See you guys later!


6 Temmuz 2013 Cumartesi

First week of the training and Istanbul are completed.

What a lonely starting of weekend...

Living with a Egyptian housemate here in Istanbul. What a coincidence when Egypt is going through revolution and coup... Actually I have so many thing in my mind to ask her... However, she speaks too much that it becomes  annoying for most of the time that I don't attempt to start a conversation with her in general.

I also have 2 girl friends in the same building who take the same training with me. Azeri Liz and Syrian Dan. Last weekend we went to Taksim and encountered with Gay Pride walking (by the way it was amazing. We go to the course and return back to the home together generally. I met really nice people and tutors at the course. I love the place. Got the highest marks from my 2 lessons so far. However, there is sooo many things to do still and I have to keep the hardwork up!

Once I met my old Istanbuller male friend Erhan. Went Istıklal together. It was nice. That's all! Today has been a total lonely day. Since I cannot workout at this place, I went to walking at midday. It has been a really long time since I felt that lonely. It makes me sad and bored which prevents me to work on my assignments. I can't cope with loneliness. There is no way to get over it. It is double annoying to stay at home and to not do assignments at the same time.

Sooo... Gather yoursel together Cessé! Keep studying. It has only been one week and you don't know which chances, entertainments and fun weekends you will encounter with! Be strong and positive!