THE FALLING DOWN PART FIRST!
* Got a low evaluation grade from my students :( So sum of the 1st year: very low grades at the first term, high grades at the second term, low grades again at the third term.
Talked to the teacher trainer about it. She said that there were effective teachers one side, and popular teacher at the other. I shouldn't worry, there are many parameters to those evaluations, and it is very good that I reflect on them and take them seriously.
* As you can imagine, I'm very depressive. I won't write the very irritating horrifying self-degrading thoughts here not to awaking them while trying to keep a positive attitude - they are no good for anything. I question myself and my teaching skills a lot. My heart squeezes as the first term it did. However, I go on exploring, studying and reflecting and believing in. Practising lots of "tevekkül".
* I watched a few teaching-education movies and documentary today and just read some parts of teaching learning book reflecting on it. I will check some points to use in my plans before I teach again. You forget that kind of methodological stuff unless you experiment on it no matter how it strikes you while you're reading.
NOW THE GOOD NEWS!!
God accepted to my top choice university, METU, as a Msc student. I had even thought not to bother with letter of intent, reference letters at the first place but I am in, man! I have even started to check the education faculties overseas for Phd.
Action Plans
I'll only mention very short term ones here since I cannot see future clearly right now!
* seeing a shrink next week - I'll talk about my anxieties
* starting theater lessons - to be a more attention grabber teacher!
Wish me luck and God bless till next time :)
